A Failure that Wasn't

When Raja and I decided the bail the climb, it felt like a failure. In the simplest terms, it was: we turned around. Retreated down the rock instead of standing on Seneca’s summit. We had lost the route and the climbing was getting too hard and it was too scary to continue upwards. Up was a risk we didn’t want to take. We had failed and I should have been disappointed. But when we were back on the ground, I felt something that I hadn’t expected: empowerment. We had figured out a way to get ourselves off the cliff. We found the courage to do something we had never done before. And we had done it together. ⁣⁣

I’m proud of Raja for trusting his intuition, pushing his ego aside, and leaning into vulnerability when he said, “I think we should back out.” I’m proud of myself for staying calm when our original plan fell apart and we improvised an alternative ending. (Trad climbing often terrifies me and I’ve burst into tears before while clinging to rock.) ⁣⁣

We learned something about ourselves that day—not only that we had the skills to bail—but we had the strength to be honest with ourselves. To make the right decision. To keep each other safe. To find growth in failure. ⁣⁣